I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Randomize
