mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize