the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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