Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
