i barfeds in our rink
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
