So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
