she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
