I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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