Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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