first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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