Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
