I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
