what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
