dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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