When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
