after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
