Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He called his prostate his "boner button".
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
