I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize