did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It's never too late to be topless.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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