Have you finally orgasmed yet?
That's intense
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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