I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
