There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize