Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
