I love black thongs
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
