Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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