I want to stick my p in your. b.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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