I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
