so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
