my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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