i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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