you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
