He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
