and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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