So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
