Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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