a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
