I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
