Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
