that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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