i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
