So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
