I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
They took my balls.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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