I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
two words...techno handjob
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
