What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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