i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
