is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
