I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
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Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
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When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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