dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
The air taste purple.
Randomize
