so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
