Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
