how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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