i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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