make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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