My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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