it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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