i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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