i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
