You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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