Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
