it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
