Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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