he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
