You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
