You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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