Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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