If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
