I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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