So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
