when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
