I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she smelled like a LAN party
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
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You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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